It was September 2019, after reading to different posts and articles posted by others, I decided to take a break. Instead of writing, thought it would be better to read and explore what others wish to convey through their posts.
Regularly, I started reading the posts posted by different people from different occupations, living at different places and working at various positions. Every day, at least I tried to read 1000 posts along with articles published on social media sites.
Most of the posts were in common. Many tried to capture their glory and showcase their success stories. There were pictures which have captured their emotions. A sense of joy, happiness and a bit of ego was clearly highlighted through them. A few showed the grief, pain and suffering, either of their own life or of the society. These posts tried to appeal and connect people emotionally. But maximum pictures which were posted expressed people’s achievement, happy times which added fun and frolic to life.
Most of the posts were motivating. They were encouraging, showed how to accept challenges and to develop a strategy to lead life in proper way. Articles included people’s experiences and experiments with life. Some were heart touching, and a few were copy paste.
Ultimately, I realized, every human being who was posting either pictures or words tried to introspect and through posts was trying to connect with people.
I sensed, on this so called ‘Blue Planet’, something is missing.
Well, it is the connection – physical, mental or emotional.
Though we are surrounded by hundreds, thousands and millions of people, but when it comes to sharing our emotions and connecting with right people, we are sometimes helpless. Hardly there is someone who can connect with us physically, mentally and emotionally. And as the desire to connect is unfulfilled, we put our thoughts and expressions in the form of posts and go for the goose chase to find for such people who can connect with us.
Unfortunately, even after posting our thoughts and emotions, we still keep wandering. We are in search of a ray of hope...Connect with one, Connect with a few, Connect with many, and Connect with endless...there is a sense of loneliness even when we are surrounded by millions and billions. The answered question...Why do we feel lonely?
There are hundreds of gadget and millions of app, yet we have the strong sense of loneliness. The simple answer could be, through these gadgets and apps, we are just killing our precious time. For a meanwhile, when we get something in substitution of other, our focus is shaken and shifted from our loneliness to something that connects our mind. But the moment, gadgets are switched off, and are kept aside, this loneliness creeps into our thought.
I firmly believe that most of our sufferings will end when we will conquer our loneliness.
I request the readers, to share their opinion and valuable piece of advice through which, we can explore new ways of getting rid of loneliness. Probably, this is in high demand and the most required.
My feet are frozen and could sense the drops of sweat falling from my brows. The air condition is on and the temperature of the room is cool yet I am badly perspiring.
The lady in the blue shirt asked me to have a glass of water. She was trying to create a congenial environment so that I could answer the very first question of the very first interview for which I was anxiously waiting for. They simply asked to introduce myself.
The members of the panel were really good. But I can bet they were surely in the utter state of dilemma.
When they looked at my resume, my academics proved that I am an excellent student. I proudly mentioned my PGDM CGPA – 7.2 which indeed is considered as the best. I was even awarded a couple of certificates for my academic excellence and topper in my area of specialization.
Well, I know about myself. I am Nirupa. I come from a village named Tektar, Darbhanga district. Right from my childhood days, I was studious. Enjoyed going to school. I always worked hard to hold a better position in my class. I studied in government schools and then in government college.
I remember, when my cousin used to come to our village to spend his summer vacations, he used to carry a few textbooks. He was seen busy doing his holiday homework. He could read English fluently. Babuji and Maa always praised my cousin. He was considered as prodigious and we were told to be like him.
The book which my cousin left, I used to read aloud and practice. Words were not easy. On encountering a difficult word, I always got scared. My teachers never forced us to talk in English as it was a Hindi medium school. My teacher, who taught me English, used to laugh when I pronounced any of the words wrongly. Steadily, I lost my confidence. I felt ashamed when people laughed at my wrong pronunciation.
Except for my cousin, who motivated me and said that English is a simple language to learn. Of course, a lot of practice was required. He told me not to be afraid. He cited a number of examples of those who could not speak correctly and then of those who practiced and had improved themselves.
The education system in India remained a challenge. They have grown leap and bounds in a few states and cities. Contrary to this statement, it turned from worse to worst in my state.
Since my childhood, I always liked going to school. But in my school, teachers were more irregular than the students. There was no proper timetable. Lack of course plans and too many holidays always sabotaged our studies.
I still remember, during the tenth board examination, my answer sheet was copied by almost, all the students of my school who were present in that examination hall. I passed my tenth, did my intermediate and then opted for B.Com.
During my graduation, in the first year, I had been to my college for at least four or five months. Thereafter, the months reduced to days. I still remember that during my second and final year of graduation, I had been to college only for three reasons:
1.To deposit my yearly fees
2.To register for the examination and
3.To collect my admit card for the final examination.
There was a turning point in my life. My cousin got placed in Google at Hyderabad. He decided to financial support my higher studies.
Well, being a girl child, after graduation, my parents said NO to further studies. They believed, I was overqualified and it is difficult to find a qualified groom for my marriage.
I wanted to be like my cousin. I wished to stand on my feet and earn. But, my family had some other plans. My cousin stood as a pillar and supported me. It was because of his intervention, my parents agreed to send me to Hyderabad.
A new state, people were talking and speaking with their friends in Telugu which was next to impossible for me to understand. My cousin advised speaking in English, even if I was committing mistakes, not to bother but to continue with the English language.
How can I say No to my MENTOR!
I obeyed.
Initially, it was extremely difficult for me to learn. The college where I enrolled for the PGDM course, the teachers taught either in English or in Telugu.
I, who had studied from Hindi medium, could understand nothing. Things bounced off my head. I plead my cousin, not to waste his money or time on me. I lost my hope as I believed that I can never learn either English or Telugu.
Pretty aware of my mental stress, my cousin asked me to take this as a challenge. He gave a timeline of three months and said, in these three months, If I don’t improve myself, he will certainly send me back to Tektar.
Giving value to his words, I decided to give a new start. Every evening, my cousin took a couple of hours from my busy work schedule and started improving my basics. I was determined and did not let down the aspiration set on me by my cousin.
The days passed by. The result of the first semester was on the display board. I failed for the first time. I could pass in only four subjects.
Generally, people turn upset but I was quite happy because it was for the first time I have appeared for the examination in the English language. I was happy that I could get through at least in four subjects. The result boosted my confidence.
Now I knew I can be successful.
The happiness which was so obvious and could be revealed through my body language made others a bit obnoxious. My friends started to corner me. Maybe this was like a blessing in disguise.
My solitude gave me inner strength. From then onwards, I never failed and could achieve a grand CGPA of 7.2.
Placements were going on. I was well mentored by my cousin. He prepared me for the basic interview questions.
And on the big day, after qualifying the aptitude test, here I am sitting in front of the panel. The very first question – Introduce Yourself, reminded me of all those moments, where I felt insulted, humiliated, laughed on my wrong pronunciation…I could hardly speak.
I gathered my courage, after drinking a half glass of water, there was a smile on my face. I remembered the golden words of my mentor – You have travelled miles to reach your destination. Here is the destination. Just speak from your heart and get the permission to give a kick start to your career.
I, Nirupa with full confidence, answered all the questions asked by the panel members of the interview and got selected as a Research Analyst.
Though this may look like a short story, but this is the bitter fact of hundreds of graduates who struggle very hard to reach to their final destination…Way to Success!
We never think of causing harm to others. Being a member of socialized society, we always look to meet and interact with people who are easy to mingle. In fact, we try to find people who are like-minded, with whom we can sit together and if we wish to blame others, then the person should add on more to satisfy our quest of blaming someone.
Often, I do get the opportunity to interact with unknown people which indeed is an advantage for me to learn and explore more about what, how and why we behave with people in a strange way.
Here are three things which are tough to change and hence we may encounter peculiar behavior of the people:
1. Perception
Our well-wishers and those who really care for us, knowing our strengths and weaknesses do try to help in overcoming our grey areas, still our perception towards such people, hardly allow us to listen to them and implement the necessary change.
2. Listening
While listening when the mind is preoccupied with certain perceptions, prejudiced mind rarely could judge and can differentiate between listening and hearing. Most of the times, we just hear to people whereas we must try to listen to them.
3. Communicate
Passing or conveying a piece of information without actually identifying if the piece of information is rightly conveyed or correctly interpreted, cannot be considered as Communication still many leave the things mid-way and feel that the communication is done if surpassed from their end.
I am very positive and believe in
spreading positivity
.
Another year passes by. My
message box is full of new wishes, resolutions, number of images bombarded via
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & LinkedIn. Festive mood can be sensed. Happy faces
very well captured and posted.
On 31 December, every year we start
thinking about the passing by year. The days which were bitter, which had
pulled our nerves and which challenged our abilities…like the flipping pages of
a book, every scenes is vividly remembered and for few seconds, we do relive such
bitter experiences.
Well, this is common to all of
us. Let us do something different. Try to concentrate and remember the days of
joy and happiness which we have spent merrily, something which can rejuvenate
our mind with full of positive vibes.
Remember – to nurture mind with
positivity is our prime duty. The celebrations, greetings are few tactics which
we have implied since ages to refill the mind with positivity.
Other than these, helping and
serving others, assisting in good deeds can add on to spread positive vibes
around us.
What I believe is, those who
practice such things on daily basis, indeed they are the happiest people.
Happiness is the greatest asset for the human being but slowly and steadily, it
is getting curtailed or turning to be the toughest task to live with.
When we are so badly engaged into
numerous things, then why do we fail to be happy?
Work accomplished is different
from doing any work with disinterest and just for the sake of doing it.
Most of the employees, they are
engaged into their jobs with responsibilities which actually they dislike
performing.
If there is anything that you
dislike, it can never ever make truly happy. You perform the tasks considering
just as your duty. On finishing the task successfully, you may have the credits
added to your credentials, but indeed such happy moments vanish very soon. There
is a duel between the mind and the soul.
Unfortunately, when we inquire,
most of the employees may agree that they hate what they are asked to do…
Involvement of mind and soul will
certainly sustain the happy moments. Though this may look challenging but it is
not impossible. Employees’ perspective towards their assigned roles and
responsibility must change.
We work according to the set
patterns. We are scared of bringing or adding any change to our working style. Start
setting new patterns and try to bring variation in our work style; this will
kill the monotony in our work.
As a social being, though we are
afraid of challenges but it triggers our creativity.
Innovation is possible when you
challenge and develop a new perspective.
There is a huge hue and cry globally
about living life happily. People talk a lot about their sorrow, miseries and hastily
spread unhappiness. Certainly, this is done to shed the burden of unhappiness and
try to obtain some happy moments. Every human being is craving to live life of the
king size happily but without encountering the bitter fact, that the more you
desire to be happy, more you need to put efforts. These efforts will assemble
both, the positive and negative remarks, replies and its reaction leads to
tough time with great turmoil.
What is being happy?
Being happy is a continuous
process of feeling joy on accomplishment of fulfilled task. When a
responsibility is given and when you do fulfill the assigned task as per the
expectation set, it makes you feel delighted. Your exuberant feeling spreads smile
or laugh. Contrary to this, the moment you fail to stand as per the set
expectation, you are carried away by negative emotions which brings in you
anger, fear and tears in your eyes. If you wish to be happy try not to set high
expectation.
There is a boy named Raghu who
works in a tea stall.His duty is to
serve tea when his master asks him to serve and after the tea is sipped by the
people, he goes to collect the glasses, wash them, wipe them with a clean cloth
and lay them in the tray so that his master can serve it to the other people.
Raghu is seen always with a smile
on his face. He is just eight year old. When we look at him outwardly, he is
deprived of a family, he has no scope of getting education, he has to earn his
livelihood at this tender age when other kids of his age, enjoys the love and
affection of their parents, go to school, learn and earn knowledge, friendship
and have fun.
His happiness was pinching me. I
wanted to know the reason of the gleam in his eyes, his never ending humming
and the sweet smile. Let me admit, I was jealous of this little boy. I could
hardly stop myself from questioning to this innocent boy;
Raghu, tell me one thing. I never
saw you unhappy. Whenever I met you, you were seen delighted and was always
smiling. Boy, I want to know, how can you be so happy every time?
Raghu said, “Di, I know that I
may sound weird, but from the day I knew that I am alone, I never grumbled on
being alone. I accepted this fact. When I see others, I can’t compare them with
my life because I firmly believe that nobody would like to compare their life
with mine. I don’t desire much because I know, with unfulfilled desires, I can
only accumulate sorrows. I have limited my expectation. I start my day with thanks
to the almighty God, and start my day with a broad smile on my face. The smile is
the only thing that I keep reminding to myself. Every passer by, who stops here
for a cup of tea, should be happy after sipping it. Hence, while serving and
picking up the empty glasses, I just spread smile. Indeed, I have nothing than
this smile which I can share. I also learnt that to spread smile is not that
difficult only if you wish to share it with good thought in your mind.”
I heard him patiently and to
acknowledge him, I did smile. What a wonderful lesson, this eight year old boy
had shared!
From the day of our birth,
entering the world of whims and fancies, out of mother’s womb to the time
buried in the tomb, we keep grieving for all the wrong expectations that we
have set. Setting expectation is not bad, but setting wrong expectation can be
painful, lead to disaster and unhappiness.
This unhappiness is contagious. When
you are unhappy and meet some one very happy, you wish to attack his peace by
telling him all the reasons of you being unhappy. Thus, affect his happy life.
Well, globally we are entangled
with the same act. Instead of spreading happiness, our focus is more on killing
others’ happiness leading to stiff, cut-throat and unhealthy competition, which
in turn spread jealousy, hatred, pain, making our meticulous life miserable.
Limit and set right expectation
to lead happy life…like Raghu.
Perception plays a vital role in building and enriching
relationship. I do understand that once the perception made, is difficult to
change. Particularly about those people who are of less importance in our life.
When you interact, share your ideas or advice, due to the set
mind or created perception against the person’s behavior, it becomes too
difficult for an individual to accept the given piece of comment. Every
individual is free to think and have their own created perception but problem
faced when the created perception about a person is misleading or wrong ones.
Well, this I have sensed many times when I interact with young
boys and girls who are very imaginative and feel that they are truly smart in
judging people and their personality. While creating the perception about an
individual they simply get misled by their own perception.
Not to deny the fact that others do play an important role in
giving their own judgment and helping to create the thought, this could be
either in favor or against the person.
Often I hear faculty members complaining about their students in
particular of their behavior which could be related to their way of talking,
the way of dressing and addressing others. Most of the time, you find a teacher
dissatisfied by their students because they respond badly or abruptly, too
difficult for students to understand the shared knowledge, its application is
the biggest challenge and so on.
Certainly, apart from teaching, as a faculty member, we need to
help students learn and apply mannerism, adhere disciplined behavior and
respond logically. Let the young learners know what they are learning with a
clear answer to why they are learning anything. Unfortunately, most of the
faculty members speak too high about theories but very rarely, you will find
them walking his/her talk.
The matter of fact is, young boys and girls, hardly listen to
their elders. They start living with a myth that they are pretty mature and can
act smartly every time. Indeed, they can do this when they learn the art of
self-introspection.
When you get a scolding or when others try to correct you,
instead of straightaway ignoring the person, steal a moment from your
thoughtful mind and try to explore the reasons that why the other person has
reacted in the way which was neither appreciated by you nor by the person who
said or did so.
I believe, a human being is called a social animal because it
knows the art of living with different complex and sophisticated people in the
most genteel manner. Well, this is slowly getting out of the lessons. The buzz
words - soft skills and life skills are much spoken but less applied in
practice.
Let me also put this in another way. Even when you wish to apply
the soft skills and nurture your life skills, people around you, barely show their
acceptance to your behavior. Contrary to this, they encourage you to follow
barbarian behavior.
My wish is to help the young boys and girls know the true art of
living. They should draw correct inference by learning to perceive and develop
the right perception so that positivity spreads everywhere.
Everybody wishes to learn and enrich their knowledge bank. For this people often refer books. Of course, reading books on various topics can certainly help in gaining information. You can understand the thoughts and ideas as well as the perception of the writer. But, when you wish to gain optimum knowledge about different things from various aspects, don’t confine your mind to only books. Trust me there is an open source of gaining information particularly related to the life management and that is the ‘NATURE’.
Every organism present in nature tries to deliver some lesson. If applied carefully, it acts as the healer and can even lessen our sufferings and pain.
To cite an example which we might have experienced is when we are unwell, we start blaming and it starts from the Almighty God, we blame the society, we blame our family and we blame our own body and soul for all the ailments that we are undergoing through. Our vision is ransacked and we can feel only true pain, nothing else. The moment, we visit a hospital we come across other patients, may be in better condition than yours or could be vice versa. Suddenly the complaining state of mind switches to the praising. Blame turns to be blessings and we want to find a proper remedy to our problems.
When we move and start exploring nature, you will be bound to learn many new things. It can be certain things which can help you to strengthen your personal relationship with the other beings. Few could be related to your work style, few could be related to time management and the list will go on. To learn from nature it is you who should be vigilant and be focused. Only with true concentration you will learn the realities of life with great ease through the open book, termed Nature.
There is a beautiful saying - Nature has sufficient resources to fulfill the need of every being but not to satisfy their greed. We, the human being, only desire to have more than what is actually needed by us. The concern is self-centered and maybe because of this reason throughout the life we lead a life full of mayhem. There is no inner peace. The desire to have more generates competition which sometimes seems to be meaningless.
Well, I am not against competition. But while in competition try to first identify the cause and its effect on every action that you are engaged into. Anything which is indicating the extreme points can be dangerous.
To share and care, to know your kind of personality so that your behavior can affix into the type of organization you wish to work for or you are engaged with. Every kind of plantation can’t be grown in the type of soil available. There has to be a correct match between the two. Similarly, it goes with the human being and the associated organization.
It is easy to state that one should be at right position, working with right people at the right place. But often, you may hear from the HR Managers that they find it very difficult to identify and recruit the right person at the right position.
Those who can naturally acclimatize can sustain longer than those protected and grown in nurseries. We stopped getting acclimatized. Due to the thoughtful mind and creative brain, numerous innovations and inventions made our life quite happening and comfortable. Contrary to this, we lost the immunity. We find it difficult to adapt according to the demand of nature. Though we are the most prominent part of this nature, yet we find it very hard to live and lead the life at an ease.
Every new innovation and invention or the discoveries directly or indirectly has affected the lifestyle. Unless we confine our desire and won’t be thinking about other beings, it will be difficult to draw consensus. The tussle of the life will keep going and even after getting the honor of the highest qualifications, academically, we will remain as the part of sufferers. It is only because of lack of interest to think about the consequences and its impact on others, we keep the momentum on.
Let us take a pause. Let us learn a very simple lesson from the nature to share and care and to maintain harmony for better growth of each and every resource available. May
be, the day we realize this, we may think about better human nature which can think about the betterment of Self as well as The Beautiful World.
