In this world of cut-throat competition, people wish to live in fantasy and experience wonderful life with all luxuries. Not bad. Indeed, great thought pushes you to work harder. But this is not a fact. Generally, people don't like to read facts as these are bitter and tough to swallow.
My daughter was super excited when she saw her result. She is a student of Patna University, pursuing a BBA program from one of its affiliated colleges. I don't want to target the college, so I will not mention its name. Still, after a gap of a year, this incident compelled me to pen down my thoughts.
She secured a seven GPA in her first semester. As a mother, of course, I am happy with her performance. I have seen her struggle. She joined this college in September 2021 and, as a sincere student, was regular to her college.
A semester which is of six months here was of a year. The first semester exams were scheduled for August 2022. The first paper was on Principles of Management, and the questions in the paper were related to Nitrogen Gas. In the evening, when she returned home, I saw her upset. On inquiring, she told me about the question paper. I soothed her by saying that, University would look into this and come up with a solution, as the problem was of all the students pursuing a BBA program.
Well, there wasn't any notification from the University about the wrong question. As days passed, she started worrying. It was reflected on her face. She lost interest in her regular pass time and became a soberer.
Well, this is not the purpose of writing.
On receiving the result, she revealed her fears. She was afraid of failing. Along with this, she said that a boy was given special preference in the examination room. Invigilators on invigilation duty handed over answer sheets of another student, mobile phones, etc., to him so that he could write competent answers. He secured a nine GPA and was declared the topper.
My daughter said, you always wanted us to excel in life with honesty and trust. Even though in the examination hall, every student was cheating either from mobile phones or micro chits, she believed in her hard work. She remained dedicated and is very happy about securing a seven GPA. She assured me that she would give her best shot next semester.
I don't doubt my daughter, but my question is to the college management, those invigilators who remained insincere to their profession.
Exams are not just about passing and scoring well. They reflect your knowledge skills. The boy who was helped to secure a nine GPA must be from an elite family who could pressure the system and force it to follow the wrong practice.
Though I appreciated my daughter's sincerity, I could not convince myself. Nobody will praise her sincerity in the future, but the topper will always move in society with a high collar. He will be acclaimed and awarded for his performance which is baseless.
A similar incident could have happened to you in your life. What did you do? What was your reaction?
I wanted to complain, but I knew it would only create a mess in my daughter's life. With this tussle in mind, I thought, let me share this with you all.
Meenu is in her early 40's and is a homemaker. She wakes up early at 5:00 am. She starts her daily routine from her kitchen. Preparing breakfast, waking up kids, help them in their daily routine, dress them up, force the kid to drink a glass of milk, and drop the kid with the packed breakfast box and bag to the bus stop.
Immediately she returns and wakes her husband and the similar drill of serving breakfast, packing a lunchbox, and finally, she takes time to access her laptop. She checks her inbox, responds to a few emails, and then rushes to her wardrobe. Picks the well-ironed dress, and rushes to get ready. Often, she has to skip her breakfast as she hardly gets time to sit calmly and enjoy her breakfast.
Oh! I failed to introduce who Meenu is?
Meenu is a Principal of a privately owned school. She has a couple of Master's degrees. She is a doctorate with Management and has obtained respect in society because of her communication skills, interpersonal skills, and other soft skills.
Well, to teach is her passion. Even during the lockdown, nothing much has changed in her routine. She has to take care of her household work, look after the daily needs of the family members, and work from home.
Most of you, when you read this, you can co-relate Meenu's life with yours. The society in which we are part of is a male-dominating. It is a fact.
Globally there are thousands of changes that are taking place each day. In these changes, we also see the change that is accepted by the women in their roles and responsibilities.
Taking care of the home is not just the responsibility of a woman. Gone are those years when a woman is responsible for the family members' needs. She is equally educated compared with men. She is equally eligible to apply for jobs. On getting placed, she is smart enough to fulfill her responsibilities.
Some laws amended to provide equal rights to a woman.
But the biggest question - Is a woman given equal rights compared to a man?
A woman shares the responsibility of running a family with her husband. At the same time, she expects that her husband should also support her and assist her in doing petty household work. Honestly, a man rarely extends his support. It generates the differences between a man and a woman.
Many of you might agree and state that you are among those few who care for the family. But the bitter fact is in India even these days a man lives with an old mindset and believes that he is superior to a woman.
Sharing responsibility is there between a man and a woman. A woman is allowed to develop her professional life. She is financially supporting the family. In turn, when she expects similar stature in the family as a man, she is deprived of the position. She barely gets any support from her family.
Well, this freedom of exploring and creating a new identity both in personal and professional life started generating new problems like, there is a lack of appreciation from the family members, she hardly gets time for recreation. Moreover, she is more burdened.
A man straightaway comments that it is a woman who wanted to cross the threshold of her home and explore a new opportunity, working and sharing the financial burden of the family.
Instead of such a negative comment, a man must thank a woman for her extra support. He must praise her for her courage and thoughtfulness, appreciate her gesture in taking more responsibilities.
Meenu is one among those millions of women from India, who hardly gets a line of appreciation from her family. There are expectations of the family. She should fulfill her role as a wife and a mother. They fail to give a word of appreciation and a handful of support that can make her life a bit easy.
It is high time. A man needs to change his mindset. Let there be equal responsibilities between a man and a woman. Instead of watching her doing all kinds of household work, you better get up and assist her.
In the month of March, colleges have resumed after Holi (festival of colors in India) vacation on the 13th. The coronavirus began to spread in India slowly and steadily. The number of patients went on increasing. As a precaution, the DM passed an ordinance and declared holidays till 31 March 2020 to have control of COVID 19 in Bihar. Seeing the situation, the Central government announced lockdown 1.0 and then the series of lockdown continued till 4.0
We all know that a few days of a planned holiday can be of great fun.
But what to do in a situation like a lockdown when you can’t come out of your house? The condition due to coronavirus was the worst. It generated distress. Teachers were worried about the career of the students.
Change is inevitable. It forces us to adopt new things. Teachers who discouraged the use of technology were now ready to embrace it because this was the only means that can connect them with their students, help them in conducting their classes, and engage students to resume their studies.
The process of online classes has begun. The mode of conducting class was completely different from offline or traditional. Teachers were not comfortable in delivering the online session. They missed the interaction of the students. They were not used to one-way communication.
In an offline class, a teacher conducts a session observes the expression of their students to notice whether they could assimilate the delivered knowledge and are confident with the understanding of the concept.
In the offline mode, students get an opportunity to interact with teachers and clear their doubts. These were missing in online classes.
Time has come now to overlook these problems and to come up with a suitable solution.
Right from universities to schools, teachers were motivated to utilize ICT and conduct sessions. Schools took the necessary initiative. Teachers who were ready to impart their classes were well-trained to conduct it via online.
The new normalcy expected the teachers to deliver the virtual sessions that included:
Experiential sharing
Application through simulators
Engaging through interactive sessions
Fulfilling their need for learning as per their expectations
Hence teachers have to rethink and redraft their lesson plan. They will have to analyze their course and understand the new ways of teaching a concept that could be easily grasped by the learners via virtual mode.
These changes needed a quick understanding and application by the teachers, in identifying the right source of information that they wish to deliver.
Time has come when the teachers will have to empower students not only to gain knowledge of the concepts but also to learn the art of applying the knowledge in their day-to-day life.
The new mantra of 2020 teachers is learning through experience and application. Even students will have to adopt the same. Only these can enrich their knowledge skills, develop the right attitude, and enhance their aptitudinal skills.
E-learning is a new normal. Along with a good teacher, it is necessary to have connectivity of the internet and inclination to learn from home.
Further, what else is needed?
The learners can share their opinion. They can share their comments and help teachers in conducting virtual sessions as per the expectation of the students.
I was preparing my bed to sleep. It was at 9:00 pm
on hearing the doorbell I was surprised. I thought during the lockdown, who is
at the door and ringing the doorbell?
When I opened the door, I saw Megha. She lives next
door and works as a tele-caller with an institute. I could sense that something
was wrong with her. Drops of sweat on her forehead showed that she was nervous.
On inquiring, she said, can she come in, first?
I asked her to get in and offered a glass of water.
She said that she is not fed up of tele-calling and
is looking for a change of job. She wanted me to review her resume so that she
can start applying to different companies.
I knew Megha since she finished her graduation and
aspired to earn money for her further studies. She is determined and wanted to
pursue her masters with her hard-earned money. I always admired her spirit and
appreciated her positive attitude.
Well, I could see that Megha is sitting opposite to
me is low at her confidence and was in some confusion.
I took a copy of the resume, read it thoroughly,
and had asked her to include a few points that were missing related to her job
experience. Casually I asked her, why is she desperate in changing her job
during COVID 19? Isn’t it risky? I suggested her to think twice before taking
any decision.
With heavy voice and tears rolling in her eyes,
Megha said that she liked her job. She always enjoyed calling people, answering
their queries, and helping them in every possible way. But over a year, she is
a bit uncomfortable.
She said that generally, she calls young boys and
girls who have completed their graduation and are willing to pursue further
studies. The moment she calls, the receiver of the call often talks either in a
rude manner or humiliates her. Most of the time, they abuse her point that she
has no sense of time; she is calling them unnecessarily and troubling them.
Sometimes, young boys often call her in the late evening and asking her about
such things that she is even ashamed of telling others.
There are thousands of people who are working as
tele-callers. Day and night, they try to render their best so that the
customers or the clients receive the best information. Because of them, in many
circumstances, life has become easy for customers or consumers.
Of course, the service given by tele-callers is
quite commendable.
I knew Megha is good at communication. She is
multi-linguistic and speaks very confidently with anyone.
I asked Megha if she has any job specification. The
kind of profile that she is willing to join in.
She said that with the experience that she has, she
is fit for the front end job easily.
I asked her, what if, even after changing the job,
she encounters a similar kind of situation. What is she going to do then? Will
she keep changing her workplace?
She agreed with my thought. She wanted to know-how
to tackle such situations.
I suggested her to follow these three steps:
When
you make a call, don’t be straight forward. Try to think of new ideas about interacting with others in different ways. Find about their aspiration. What is it that they aspire to do? Find out whether you can extend any support in fulfilling their dreams. Once, when setting the right pitch, come up with what you wished to convey.
To be
on the safer side, I advised her to have a professional number for professional work. Never share personal contact and details. Maintain a
balance between personal and professional life. On receiving a call in the late hours, it is better to avoid attending phone calls rather than text the caller informing that you will call him or her the next day. Of course, it is necessary to call the caller, on the next day, without fail.
Think
from the perspective of the person who is receiving a call. In a day, if they have to attend several calls which they are not willing to answer for sure, it creates irritation and agitation. It is better to step into their shoes and empathize with them.
When you follow these, I firmly believe that you
will face fewer problems which you can handle with ease, as you are
well-experienced and know the art of managing people’s queries.
Yes, even after the adapted change, if you remain
dissatisfied with your current job, you can change it any time and can start
searching for better opportunities.
Megha agreed with what I said. One can see that her
worries were no more troubling her mind. She was at ease. Taking the resume
from my hand, she said that anyways, it is always good to update the resume.
With a cute smile, she bid good night and left for her home.
My mind engaged with the thoughts of Megha. People
enjoy humiliating others. They forget that it can be so painful for the person
to work with such humiliation. One such call can upset the tele-callers for the
whole day.
I sincerely wish if I could guide even the people
who attend such calls and make them understand how to reply to a phonecall of a
telecaller.
Recently a few students of mine
took the proctored online test. Their result was not at all as per my
expectation. Immediately I went and informed the head of the department about
the scores obtained by the students in the tests taken. I was upset as my set
of expectations were completely different than what I have observed and gained.
The person with whom I was
discussing had immense experience than me. He asked me to calm my nerves and to
let him know in detail what went wrong with the class?Why did it happen so?
As a teacher, I started
explaining to him the efforts that I put before taking any of the scheduled
classes, how I prepare my presentations, how I deliver the same in the
classroom, and how students stay in the discipline while attending my classes?
No doubt that I have completed a decade into teaching. I know I always try to
put my best foot forward. Due to COVID 19, when the mode of delivering sessions
shifted from traditional classroom teaching to online teaching, I missed that
connection with the students. I was low at confidence as I could not connect
with the students. I missed the interaction with students, their presence that
always boosted my level of confidence. Probably, I ended by blaming the
transformation and informed that this could be one of the reasons for the poor
performance of the students.
Sir, who was listening to me,
praised me because it was me who at least thought of the reasons for such an
unexpected result.
He tapped the call bell and asked
peon to bring in two cups of tea. He knew that I was upset and was worried
about the students.
With a sip of tea, he started
talking about how COVID 19 has impacted our life. Recalling his college days,
he began with an anecdote. He said that after finishing his matriculation when
he joined Marwari College, Darbhanga, to pursue B.Com, he could hardly
understand the basics of accountancy or commerce.
The concepts were in English as
he chose to study in the English medium. The journey from Hindi medium to
English medium itself was tough and challenging. Initially, I thought and
questioned my own decision, whether to pursue B.Com was correct or incorrect,
moreover in English medium?
Well, I decided to drop and
pursue B.A in the Hindi medium. The day I was going to hand over my application
to the Principal, it has changed my career. While standing in front of
Principal's door, I was waiting for my turn to enter, I met Dr. Jha, who was
one of my faculty members, who was currently teaching accountancy. He inquired
the reason for my standing their. I handover my written application. He read
the letter, looked at me with a broad smile, and said, "Can you meet me
during lunch break and postpone handing over this letter to the Principal till
the time we meet?"
I was waiting for a lunch break
to meet Dr. Jha. He asked me to enter his chamber and asked the reason for my
decision. I honestly started the problem that I was facing that was the
difficulty in understanding the concepts of accountancy. He said he understands
my problem but questioned me why I never raised any doubt in the class, nor I
shared my problem anytime with him. I felt ashamed but told him that he teaches
very well.
He again smiled and said, not to
worry and to postpone my decision for a week. Every evening, he started
spending two hours teaching me the concepts of accountancy, apart from this
subject, he started teaching me the English language too.
After a week, I thanked him but
said that I still feel low at confidence. He assured that his support would
continue and thanked him for his help. I have qualified B.Com, M.Com, M.Phil,
and Ph.D
Looking now at my face, Sir said,
look these days what I often think is that teachers are not teaching. Sheer
explanation of any topic in multiple languages, cannot be defined as teaching.
There is no doubt that the interest among the learners has reduced a lot.
Students can learn through different platforms that eventually help them in
gaining information. The biggest challenge for the present-day teacher is to
make students not only understand the concept but also assist them in the
application of the knowledge.
The introduction of semesters has
increased the number of subjects. It failed in enhancing knowledge skills.
Teachers are in the rush of finishing their syllabus. Students are in a hurry
to gain information and writing their exams to score and secure good
percentages.
Time has come when teachers need
to reform and transform their style of teaching. Whether it is offline or
online, it is teachers who need to rethink and must bring change. As a teacher,
when you enter the classroom, you must remember, a student who is a slow
learner and finds difficulty in developing interest in studies, needs you more
than those students who are comfortable in studies. Of course, you being a
teacher must focus on every student.
Now, I want you to think, what
benefit did Dr. Jha gain when he took extra classes of mine and had taught, his
approach of 'thinking out of the box' had helped me in improving my language
skills?
The day when each of our teachers
believes in teaching to teach the students so that they can apply the concepts
in real life, there won't be any dissatisfaction. Students will attend classes
with interest. So, can you ponder on what went right and what went wrong in
your classes? How can you bring desirable change that is acceptable by all?
I am futuristic in my actions at the same time I always believe that the efforts that are put by me, in my present will bring a bright, shining new morning - a happy future.
To think so is not bad. Well, people will call me optimistic. But the question that boggled my mind- AM I HAPPILY LIVING and ENJOYING my PRESENT?
Probably the answer is...NO
My parents must have told me millions of time to take a step back and ponder on the same question, but as usual, I ignored. This action of mine is going to cost me so high, I never realized this, till 9 May 2020.
It was a sunny summer morning. We completed lockdown 2.0 and have entered into lockdown 3.0
As per the ordinance of the government, public and private employees were working from home. Sipping tea from a hot cup, I opened my inbox. There were 70 unread emails, of which one was from a friend of mine, who has left India 15 years ago. She was well-settled in the US. Due to the COVID19 pandemic, she returned to India with her family...
It was a surprise to receive an email from a friend after such long years. When I read the email, I was utterly confused. I doubted whether the email was from the same friend or somebody has played a prank. Well, the information that she shared pointed out that it is she.
In the year 2004, after finishing her M.Tech, she got married to a man who was working with an MNC. As he was well-settled in the US, he wanted that my friend should also leave India and must think of settling in the US that she did.
In our friend circle, we all considered her as the luckiest. As she, who was from a village is going to get this great opportunity. A year after her marriage, she left India, and from then, I did not hear anything from her, except sometimes like either on my posts or hello messages through messenger. Her stay in the US always pinched my emotions. I was far better than her in studies. I excelled even in my performance but never received an opportunity to leave India and stay abroad. I was jealous of her luck.
To receive an email from her was a pleasant surprise. After reading the mail, I was in complete shock. The family that has spent over a decade in the US was today jobless. Moreover, they had no other option than returning to India, and reasoning for her email was to look for a suitable job in India.
I don't know to what extent will I help her?
But one question. What is happiness?
This question troubled my mind.
We are human beings and enjoy leading a happy life with all kinds of comfort. But does this mean that we are living a happy life?
I was keen to know the real meaning of HAPPINESS that I realized is missing from our life.
The future for which we are struggling so hard in the present is unknown. But to make it beautiful, we are ruining our present. I realized now why my parents were forcing me to think about the present. Moving across countries cannot fetch happiness. Happiness comes from our deeds, from our present actions. How well we enjoy our present, matter a lot!
In this competitive world, we need to take time to enjoy our actions. We need to take time to celebrate our small achievements. We need to realize our mistakes and rectify the same, instead of ignoring them. To gain true happiness, we need to keep our realization alive.
For this, enjoy your present state of life. We often get worried about thinking more about the future. My friend never planned or might never imagine that she has to return to India. But the fact is, her family has to come back.
True happiness is when you have no regrets. When each of your action gives your heart a sense of accomplishment, and you enjoy doing work that you like, that can be obtained even in a small village or across borders.
Her email made me correct my actions. To be futuristic is a need but not at the cost of our beautiful present that makes us live our life happily.
It was September 2019, after reading to different posts and articles posted by others, I decided to take a break. Instead of writing, thought it would be better to read and explore what others wish to convey through their posts.
Regularly, I started reading the posts posted by different people from different occupations, living at different places and working at various positions. Every day, at least I tried to read 1000 posts along with articles published on social media sites.
Most of the posts were in common. Many tried to capture their glory and showcase their success stories. There were pictures which have captured their emotions. A sense of joy, happiness and a bit of ego was clearly highlighted through them. A few showed the grief, pain and suffering, either of their own life or of the society. These posts tried to appeal and connect people emotionally. But maximum pictures which were posted expressed people’s achievement, happy times which added fun and frolic to life.
Most of the posts were motivating. They were encouraging, showed how to accept challenges and to develop a strategy to lead life in proper way. Articles included people’s experiences and experiments with life. Some were heart touching, and a few were copy paste.
Ultimately, I realized, every human being who was posting either pictures or words tried to introspect and through posts was trying to connect with people.
I sensed, on this so called ‘Blue Planet’, something is missing.
Well, it is the connection – physical, mental or emotional.
Though we are surrounded by hundreds, thousands and millions of people, but when it comes to sharing our emotions and connecting with right people, we are sometimes helpless. Hardly there is someone who can connect with us physically, mentally and emotionally. And as the desire to connect is unfulfilled, we put our thoughts and expressions in the form of posts and go for the goose chase to find for such people who can connect with us.
Unfortunately, even after posting our thoughts and emotions, we still keep wandering. We are in search of a ray of hope...Connect with one, Connect with a few, Connect with many, and Connect with endless...there is a sense of loneliness even when we are surrounded by millions and billions. The answered question...Why do we feel lonely?
There are hundreds of gadget and millions of app, yet we have the strong sense of loneliness. The simple answer could be, through these gadgets and apps, we are just killing our precious time. For a meanwhile, when we get something in substitution of other, our focus is shaken and shifted from our loneliness to something that connects our mind. But the moment, gadgets are switched off, and are kept aside, this loneliness creeps into our thought.
I firmly believe that most of our sufferings will end when we will conquer our loneliness.
I request the readers, to share their opinion and valuable piece of advice through which, we can explore new ways of getting rid of loneliness. Probably, this is in high demand and the most required.
My feet are frozen and could sense the drops of sweat falling from my brows. The air condition is on and the temperature of the room is cool yet I am badly perspiring.
The lady in the blue shirt asked me to have a glass of water. She was trying to create a congenial environment so that I could answer the very first question of the very first interview for which I was anxiously waiting for. They simply asked to introduce myself.
The members of the panel were really good. But I can bet they were surely in the utter state of dilemma.
When they looked at my resume, my academics proved that I am an excellent student. I proudly mentioned my PGDM CGPA – 7.2 which indeed is considered as the best. I was even awarded a couple of certificates for my academic excellence and topper in my area of specialization.
Well, I know about myself. I am Nirupa. I come from a village named Tektar, Darbhanga district. Right from my childhood days, I was studious. Enjoyed going to school. I always worked hard to hold a better position in my class. I studied in government schools and then in government college.
I remember, when my cousin used to come to our village to spend his summer vacations, he used to carry a few textbooks. He was seen busy doing his holiday homework. He could read English fluently. Babuji and Maa always praised my cousin. He was considered as prodigious and we were told to be like him.
The book which my cousin left, I used to read aloud and practice. Words were not easy. On encountering a difficult word, I always got scared. My teachers never forced us to talk in English as it was a Hindi medium school. My teacher, who taught me English, used to laugh when I pronounced any of the words wrongly. Steadily, I lost my confidence. I felt ashamed when people laughed at my wrong pronunciation.
Except for my cousin, who motivated me and said that English is a simple language to learn. Of course, a lot of practice was required. He told me not to be afraid. He cited a number of examples of those who could not speak correctly and then of those who practiced and had improved themselves.
The education system in India remained a challenge. They have grown leap and bounds in a few states and cities. Contrary to this statement, it turned from worse to worst in my state.
Since my childhood, I always liked going to school. But in my school, teachers were more irregular than the students. There was no proper timetable. Lack of course plans and too many holidays always sabotaged our studies.
I still remember, during the tenth board examination, my answer sheet was copied by almost, all the students of my school who were present in that examination hall. I passed my tenth, did my intermediate and then opted for B.Com.
During my graduation, in the first year, I had been to my college for at least four or five months. Thereafter, the months reduced to days. I still remember that during my second and final year of graduation, I had been to college only for three reasons:
1.To deposit my yearly fees
2.To register for the examination and
3.To collect my admit card for the final examination.
There was a turning point in my life. My cousin got placed in Google at Hyderabad. He decided to financial support my higher studies.
Well, being a girl child, after graduation, my parents said NO to further studies. They believed, I was overqualified and it is difficult to find a qualified groom for my marriage.
I wanted to be like my cousin. I wished to stand on my feet and earn. But, my family had some other plans. My cousin stood as a pillar and supported me. It was because of his intervention, my parents agreed to send me to Hyderabad.
A new state, people were talking and speaking with their friends in Telugu which was next to impossible for me to understand. My cousin advised speaking in English, even if I was committing mistakes, not to bother but to continue with the English language.
How can I say No to my MENTOR!
I obeyed.
Initially, it was extremely difficult for me to learn. The college where I enrolled for the PGDM course, the teachers taught either in English or in Telugu.
I, who had studied from Hindi medium, could understand nothing. Things bounced off my head. I plead my cousin, not to waste his money or time on me. I lost my hope as I believed that I can never learn either English or Telugu.
Pretty aware of my mental stress, my cousin asked me to take this as a challenge. He gave a timeline of three months and said, in these three months, If I don’t improve myself, he will certainly send me back to Tektar.
Giving value to his words, I decided to give a new start. Every evening, my cousin took a couple of hours from my busy work schedule and started improving my basics. I was determined and did not let down the aspiration set on me by my cousin.
The days passed by. The result of the first semester was on the display board. I failed for the first time. I could pass in only four subjects.
Generally, people turn upset but I was quite happy because it was for the first time I have appeared for the examination in the English language. I was happy that I could get through at least in four subjects. The result boosted my confidence.
Now I knew I can be successful.
The happiness which was so obvious and could be revealed through my body language made others a bit obnoxious. My friends started to corner me. Maybe this was like a blessing in disguise.
My solitude gave me inner strength. From then onwards, I never failed and could achieve a grand CGPA of 7.2.
Placements were going on. I was well mentored by my cousin. He prepared me for the basic interview questions.
And on the big day, after qualifying the aptitude test, here I am sitting in front of the panel. The very first question – Introduce Yourself, reminded me of all those moments, where I felt insulted, humiliated, laughed on my wrong pronunciation…I could hardly speak.
I gathered my courage, after drinking a half glass of water, there was a smile on my face. I remembered the golden words of my mentor – You have travelled miles to reach your destination. Here is the destination. Just speak from your heart and get the permission to give a kick start to your career.
I, Nirupa with full confidence, answered all the questions asked by the panel members of the interview and got selected as a Research Analyst.
Though this may look like a short story, but this is the bitter fact of hundreds of graduates who struggle very hard to reach to their final destination…Way to Success!
We never think of causing harm to others. Being a member of socialized society, we always look to meet and interact with people who are easy to mingle. In fact, we try to find people who are like-minded, with whom we can sit together and if we wish to blame others, then the person should add on more to satisfy our quest of blaming someone.
Often, I do get the opportunity to interact with unknown people which indeed is an advantage for me to learn and explore more about what, how and why we behave with people in a strange way.
Here are three things which are tough to change and hence we may encounter peculiar behavior of the people:
1. Perception
Our well-wishers and those who really care for us, knowing our strengths and weaknesses do try to help in overcoming our grey areas, still our perception towards such people, hardly allow us to listen to them and implement the necessary change.
2. Listening
While listening when the mind is preoccupied with certain perceptions, prejudiced mind rarely could judge and can differentiate between listening and hearing. Most of the times, we just hear to people whereas we must try to listen to them.
3. Communicate
Passing or conveying a piece of information without actually identifying if the piece of information is rightly conveyed or correctly interpreted, cannot be considered as Communication still many leave the things mid-way and feel that the communication is done if surpassed from their end.
I am very positive and believe in
spreading positivity
.
Another year passes by. My
message box is full of new wishes, resolutions, number of images bombarded via
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & LinkedIn. Festive mood can be sensed. Happy faces
very well captured and posted.
On 31 December, every year we start
thinking about the passing by year. The days which were bitter, which had
pulled our nerves and which challenged our abilities…like the flipping pages of
a book, every scenes is vividly remembered and for few seconds, we do relive such
bitter experiences.
Well, this is common to all of
us. Let us do something different. Try to concentrate and remember the days of
joy and happiness which we have spent merrily, something which can rejuvenate
our mind with full of positive vibes.
Remember – to nurture mind with
positivity is our prime duty. The celebrations, greetings are few tactics which
we have implied since ages to refill the mind with positivity.
Other than these, helping and
serving others, assisting in good deeds can add on to spread positive vibes
around us.
What I believe is, those who
practice such things on daily basis, indeed they are the happiest people.
Happiness is the greatest asset for the human being but slowly and steadily, it
is getting curtailed or turning to be the toughest task to live with.
When we are so badly engaged into
numerous things, then why do we fail to be happy?
Work accomplished is different
from doing any work with disinterest and just for the sake of doing it.
Most of the employees, they are
engaged into their jobs with responsibilities which actually they dislike
performing.
If there is anything that you
dislike, it can never ever make truly happy. You perform the tasks considering
just as your duty. On finishing the task successfully, you may have the credits
added to your credentials, but indeed such happy moments vanish very soon. There
is a duel between the mind and the soul.
Unfortunately, when we inquire,
most of the employees may agree that they hate what they are asked to do…
Involvement of mind and soul will
certainly sustain the happy moments. Though this may look challenging but it is
not impossible. Employees’ perspective towards their assigned roles and
responsibility must change.
We work according to the set
patterns. We are scared of bringing or adding any change to our working style. Start
setting new patterns and try to bring variation in our work style; this will
kill the monotony in our work.
As a social being, though we are
afraid of challenges but it triggers our creativity.
Innovation is possible when you
challenge and develop a new perspective.
There is a huge hue and cry globally
about living life happily. People talk a lot about their sorrow, miseries and hastily
spread unhappiness. Certainly, this is done to shed the burden of unhappiness and
try to obtain some happy moments. Every human being is craving to live life of the
king size happily but without encountering the bitter fact, that the more you
desire to be happy, more you need to put efforts. These efforts will assemble
both, the positive and negative remarks, replies and its reaction leads to
tough time with great turmoil.
What is being happy?
Being happy is a continuous
process of feeling joy on accomplishment of fulfilled task. When a
responsibility is given and when you do fulfill the assigned task as per the
expectation set, it makes you feel delighted. Your exuberant feeling spreads smile
or laugh. Contrary to this, the moment you fail to stand as per the set
expectation, you are carried away by negative emotions which brings in you
anger, fear and tears in your eyes. If you wish to be happy try not to set high
expectation.
There is a boy named Raghu who
works in a tea stall.His duty is to
serve tea when his master asks him to serve and after the tea is sipped by the
people, he goes to collect the glasses, wash them, wipe them with a clean cloth
and lay them in the tray so that his master can serve it to the other people.
Raghu is seen always with a smile
on his face. He is just eight year old. When we look at him outwardly, he is
deprived of a family, he has no scope of getting education, he has to earn his
livelihood at this tender age when other kids of his age, enjoys the love and
affection of their parents, go to school, learn and earn knowledge, friendship
and have fun.
His happiness was pinching me. I
wanted to know the reason of the gleam in his eyes, his never ending humming
and the sweet smile. Let me admit, I was jealous of this little boy. I could
hardly stop myself from questioning to this innocent boy;
Raghu, tell me one thing. I never
saw you unhappy. Whenever I met you, you were seen delighted and was always
smiling. Boy, I want to know, how can you be so happy every time?
Raghu said, “Di, I know that I
may sound weird, but from the day I knew that I am alone, I never grumbled on
being alone. I accepted this fact. When I see others, I can’t compare them with
my life because I firmly believe that nobody would like to compare their life
with mine. I don’t desire much because I know, with unfulfilled desires, I can
only accumulate sorrows. I have limited my expectation. I start my day with thanks
to the almighty God, and start my day with a broad smile on my face. The smile is
the only thing that I keep reminding to myself. Every passer by, who stops here
for a cup of tea, should be happy after sipping it. Hence, while serving and
picking up the empty glasses, I just spread smile. Indeed, I have nothing than
this smile which I can share. I also learnt that to spread smile is not that
difficult only if you wish to share it with good thought in your mind.”
I heard him patiently and to
acknowledge him, I did smile. What a wonderful lesson, this eight year old boy
had shared!
From the day of our birth,
entering the world of whims and fancies, out of mother’s womb to the time
buried in the tomb, we keep grieving for all the wrong expectations that we
have set. Setting expectation is not bad, but setting wrong expectation can be
painful, lead to disaster and unhappiness.
This unhappiness is contagious. When
you are unhappy and meet some one very happy, you wish to attack his peace by
telling him all the reasons of you being unhappy. Thus, affect his happy life.
Well, globally we are entangled
with the same act. Instead of spreading happiness, our focus is more on killing
others’ happiness leading to stiff, cut-throat and unhealthy competition, which
in turn spread jealousy, hatred, pain, making our meticulous life miserable.
Limit and set right expectation
to lead happy life…like Raghu.
Perception plays a vital role in building and enriching
relationship. I do understand that once the perception made, is difficult to
change. Particularly about those people who are of less importance in our life.
When you interact, share your ideas or advice, due to the set
mind or created perception against the person’s behavior, it becomes too
difficult for an individual to accept the given piece of comment. Every
individual is free to think and have their own created perception but problem
faced when the created perception about a person is misleading or wrong ones.
Well, this I have sensed many times when I interact with young
boys and girls who are very imaginative and feel that they are truly smart in
judging people and their personality. While creating the perception about an
individual they simply get misled by their own perception.
Not to deny the fact that others do play an important role in
giving their own judgment and helping to create the thought, this could be
either in favor or against the person.
Often I hear faculty members complaining about their students in
particular of their behavior which could be related to their way of talking,
the way of dressing and addressing others. Most of the time, you find a teacher
dissatisfied by their students because they respond badly or abruptly, too
difficult for students to understand the shared knowledge, its application is
the biggest challenge and so on.
Certainly, apart from teaching, as a faculty member, we need to
help students learn and apply mannerism, adhere disciplined behavior and
respond logically. Let the young learners know what they are learning with a
clear answer to why they are learning anything. Unfortunately, most of the
faculty members speak too high about theories but very rarely, you will find
them walking his/her talk.
The matter of fact is, young boys and girls, hardly listen to
their elders. They start living with a myth that they are pretty mature and can
act smartly every time. Indeed, they can do this when they learn the art of
self-introspection.
When you get a scolding or when others try to correct you,
instead of straightaway ignoring the person, steal a moment from your
thoughtful mind and try to explore the reasons that why the other person has
reacted in the way which was neither appreciated by you nor by the person who
said or did so.
I believe, a human being is called a social animal because it
knows the art of living with different complex and sophisticated people in the
most genteel manner. Well, this is slowly getting out of the lessons. The buzz
words - soft skills and life skills are much spoken but less applied in
practice.
Let me also put this in another way. Even when you wish to apply
the soft skills and nurture your life skills, people around you, barely show their
acceptance to your behavior. Contrary to this, they encourage you to follow
barbarian behavior.
My wish is to help the young boys and girls know the true art of
living. They should draw correct inference by learning to perceive and develop
the right perception so that positivity spreads everywhere.
Everybody wishes to learn and enrich their knowledge bank. For this people often refer books. Of course, reading books on various topics can certainly help in gaining information. You can understand the thoughts and ideas as well as the perception of the writer. But, when you wish to gain optimum knowledge about different things from various aspects, don’t confine your mind to only books. Trust me there is an open source of gaining information particularly related to the life management and that is the ‘NATURE’.
Every organism present in nature tries to deliver some lesson. If applied carefully, it acts as the healer and can even lessen our sufferings and pain.
To cite an example which we might have experienced is when we are unwell, we start blaming and it starts from the Almighty God, we blame the society, we blame our family and we blame our own body and soul for all the ailments that we are undergoing through. Our vision is ransacked and we can feel only true pain, nothing else. The moment, we visit a hospital we come across other patients, may be in better condition than yours or could be vice versa. Suddenly the complaining state of mind switches to the praising. Blame turns to be blessings and we want to find a proper remedy to our problems.
When we move and start exploring nature, you will be bound to learn many new things. It can be certain things which can help you to strengthen your personal relationship with the other beings. Few could be related to your work style, few could be related to time management and the list will go on. To learn from nature it is you who should be vigilant and be focused. Only with true concentration you will learn the realities of life with great ease through the open book, termed Nature.
There is a beautiful saying - Nature has sufficient resources to fulfill the need of every being but not to satisfy their greed. We, the human being, only desire to have more than what is actually needed by us. The concern is self-centered and maybe because of this reason throughout the life we lead a life full of mayhem. There is no inner peace. The desire to have more generates competition which sometimes seems to be meaningless.
Well, I am not against competition. But while in competition try to first identify the cause and its effect on every action that you are engaged into. Anything which is indicating the extreme points can be dangerous.
To share and care, to know your kind of personality so that your behavior can affix into the type of organization you wish to work for or you are engaged with. Every kind of plantation can’t be grown in the type of soil available. There has to be a correct match between the two. Similarly, it goes with the human being and the associated organization.
It is easy to state that one should be at right position, working with right people at the right place. But often, you may hear from the HR Managers that they find it very difficult to identify and recruit the right person at the right position.
Those who can naturally acclimatize can sustain longer than those protected and grown in nurseries. We stopped getting acclimatized. Due to the thoughtful mind and creative brain, numerous innovations and inventions made our life quite happening and comfortable. Contrary to this, we lost the immunity. We find it difficult to adapt according to the demand of nature. Though we are the most prominent part of this nature, yet we find it very hard to live and lead the life at an ease.
Every new innovation and invention or the discoveries directly or indirectly has affected the lifestyle. Unless we confine our desire and won’t be thinking about other beings, it will be difficult to draw consensus. The tussle of the life will keep going and even after getting the honor of the highest qualifications, academically, we will remain as the part of sufferers. It is only because of lack of interest to think about the consequences and its impact on others, we keep the momentum on.
Let us take a pause. Let us learn a very simple lesson from the nature to share and care and to maintain harmony for better growth of each and every resource available. May
be, the day we realize this, we may think about better human nature which can think about the betterment of Self as well as The Beautiful World.
